Mom

While this blog has captured happy and funny moments, the past 2 weeks have been the worst of my life. My mom died unexpectedly on December 3, 2007 at the age of 60. I'm devastated by the loss of my mother. This is the eulogy I delivered at her funeral:

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Why I loved my mom

My mom wasn’t a perfect mom. She never joined the PTA. She never was a Girl Scout Troop Leader. She never kept a perfect house. In fact, sometimes, she really embarrassed me as only a mom can. For example, I remember one time she participated in a swim race pushing watermelons that were covered in olive oil so they were extra slippery. She won the race and told the local paper her name was Katie Jacobs, my name, because she wanted me to get the credit. You can only imagine how “thrilled” I was as a 13-year-old girl to have my friends giggle at my achievement. But now that I’m a mom I realize those things – the PTA, girl scouts, perfect house, embarrassing episodes -- aren't the things that really matter. What mattered is what my mom taught me....

My mom taught me to take care of others. Her satisfaction came from taking care of the sick, the poor, the lost, and the wounded. She would pause her life to take care of others. Probably the most well known example was when my grandfather was ill with cancer. She rushed to his side and nursed and loved him with all of her heart. The day after my mom died, I found her journal where she confided her profound sadness at his illness and how important it was for her to be strong for Mommom and Poppop. Going through my immense grief today, I don’t know how she found such strength.

My mom taught me to not take life too seriously. Some, including me, sometimes faulted her for being too frivolous. She gave elaborate gifts to her loved ones when she had nothing, nothing for herself. She frowned on convention in many ways, including her name as “Grandmother”. My mom never wanted to feel old so she urged my children to call her “Tickle”. And you know what, that name fit perfectly.

And of course, my mom taught me to love animals. She had the hugest heart for anything that couldn’t defend for itself. We always had a dog in our home: Yogi, Huggy, Ollie and Cheerio, who provided as much unconditional love as my mom did.

I’m devastated by the loss of my mother. I don’t understand how it’s possible that someone who spent her life taking care of others never let us take care of her. Even when she was sick herself, she worried about others. A month ago, when she had bronchitis, she called me not to complain of her sickness, but to express concern for her brother Sean’s cancer treatments and asked me to find the best cancer center for him.

Mom, we’re going to miss you terribly. We’ll miss your giving nature, your silliness, your ability to accept anyone, your compassion, your sense of humor, and your unconditional love. I’ll remember and treasure how much you taught me and we will all carry your memory, and your laughter, on.